Today when I was cleaning my house I found the books my fiance bought for me on the day he asked me to marry him. In the two weeks since he asked I’ve been very busy. We got ready for deployment, worked to set a date, looked up venues, met with our pastor, said goodbye. And then I made appointments to see those venues, contacted our church, started conversations with our families on what the wedding would look like. All the while missing him and realizing what it looks like to plan a wedding without him by my side.
I’ve been stressed, to say the least. But I think today things got a little easier. I looked at my ring and felt the butterflies again that I felt on the day he asked.
I look at those books and I remember one of the best days of my life. He took me to the greatest bookstore ever, Chamblins Bookmine, and we walked around. He played this game with me where he’d find a book title that had something to do with relationships and show it to me. There were tons. Some on military relationships, others on divorce. Some on keeping your man happy. I would giggle and make a joke, but I thought nothing of it. Until he found one titled “An Ideal Husband,” and I looked at him and said he wasn’t one. He asked if I would like for him to be, and the rest is history.
I think it was important for me to write this down, to spend a few moments remembering the start of our greatest adventure yet. After I said yes I hadn’t known what to do with myself. We kept shopping and found books that I wanted to buy. And then he bought them for me. I look at my books and I’m reminded of the man who not only gave me a ring on that special November day, but also knew me well enough to let me do my thing. “Let” isn’t even the right word. He encourages me in everything I do.
Yes, I am sad that I’m doing a lot of big planning without him. Yes, I miss him so much that I’m on the verge of tears a lot. Yes, I am so very proud of him.
So I write this tonight out of excitement and gratitude. Both for the future and how far we’ve come.