Baby Just Run

Today is a happy day. One year ago I met the love of my life, on an ice cream date. How cute, right? We’d been talking for about a week on EHarmony and it was one of the cutest dates I’ve ever been on.

We didn’t actually get together for another two months, but I count this day as a victory. You see, I’ve been waiting for the year mark for quite a while now. I’ve known I’ve loved my boyfriend since month two, when I decided to switch churches and the first person I wanted to tell was him. And ever since then my love has grown exponentially. I think I’ve been waiting for the years to catch up with my feelings.

I’ve been a hopeless romantic all of my life. If you follow this blog some, you’ll notice that so many of the books I review are in the romance category. I’m the same way with music. Except, most of the love songs out there are of the pining variety.

Today is a good day, but it’s a day that I won’t see my love.

It’s times like this that I think of songs like Run by Rex Goudie. I listened to this song so much in high school. I’d equate the sentiments to lovers in books and movies, to a future guy I wasn’t sure even existed. It’s funny now, finding all of this old music that hits very close to home during long stretches of separation.

All of those songs I lived on growing up about aching hearts and overcoming distances prepared me for this time in my life. Gave me the ability to pull strength out of the emptiness. I’m able to find the romantic in a time that’s anything but.

So today is still a good day. Even though I miss him, even though all I really want is a hug right now. Because I am fully capable of holding onto hope… and music.

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I’ve Got Something For Goliath

I’m so excited to share this announcement with all of you! After thinking about becoming a Beachbody coach for a while, I finally attended a Facebook Live event that described what it was all about. The overwhelming consensus that I got was that coaches GET RESULTS. Whether it’s the accountability of other coaches, the idea of people watching your journey and getting inspired, or even knowing that you’re invested in the products, coaches get shit done.

Continue reading “I’ve Got Something For Goliath”

Your Mental Illness Doesn’t Make You a Bad Person

Whenever I think about OCD, I think about the intrusive thoughts that take up more space in my day than I’d like to allow. I think about the sleepless nights wondering if I’m a bad person, wondering if going to sleep would mean never waking up.

That’s because the first thing I treated when diagnosed with OCD is the bad thoughts. I had to learn to disown them. I wouldn’t choose to get caught up in wondering if my food had been poisoned or if my headache is something much more sinister. These thoughts happen to me, not with me.

However, I’m starting to recognize that having lived with this disorder for so long, my coping mechanisms have made me a much more obsessive person in general.

I dive head long into everything.

I can spend hours thinking about the last time my boyfriend kissed me, or talking about how much I miss him. It might take a person two or three times to get my attention if I’m wrapped up in a show. I’ll stay up all night reading a book if I allow myself.

This doesn’t sound like OCD, but it’s a part of my obsessive personality.

I’ve had to learn to allow my mental illness to be a part of what defines me. It’s not every thing that I am, but it’s a good chunk. That’s okay.

I remember the first time I watched this spoken word piece on OCD. I’d been dumped not too long before, and everything that was said rang loud and true to me. I hadn’t realized that part of me was obsessed with my ex. I never knew that OCD could latch onto my real life.

It took me years to move on from my ex. I only just did when I met my current boyfriend. So OCD has latched onto him instead. But I’m okay with being this attached to him. I’m okay with missing him so much. It’s part of what makes me who I am.

I’m not saying that I love my OCD. I really don’t, trust me. I’ve lost too many hours being afraid to live my life. But I’ve found something so very good to latch onto. And this part of me that copes by feeling too hard and too fast has allowed me to love in a way that I haven’t before. I’m thankful to be aware of this part of myself.

So much of mental illness actually sucks. But we as people are so much bigger than that suckyness. And it’s nice to know that even in my darkest moments, I’ve created my own light.

Book Review: Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin

Hello friends! I have had Better Than Before sitting on my shelf for over a year and I haven’t been able to bring myself to pick it back up. I thought it would be interesting to learn about habits, but I am unfortunately in a point in my life where habits are just what they are, and reading a book about it won’t do much good.

I highly recommend this book to those who genuinely want to learn more about what guides their life. Gretchen Rubin is one of my Linkedin influencers and she’s so insightful. I wish I was in to it more, for self help reasons.

Hopefully I’ll pick it up again someday. Until then, unfortunately I have to mark it as DNF.

Onto the next read.

This book was given to me by Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review.

Lessons from Loving a Sailor


I’ve had this list in my drafts since my first experience with deployment. With another one impending, I thought I’d finally publish it.

1. His job always comes first.

Changes in military scheduling will always trump prior plans. Dates tend to change often, and as an SO I just have to roll with them. I want to whine and complain so bad because even when he’s home I have to let him go so often. But I don’t because I know he’s just doing his job.

2. He comes second.

I can describe my boyfriend in one word around deployment time: tired. He works so many hours and gets little sleep so time with me ends up more than often being cuddle and fall asleep time. It’s easy to feel jilted from quality time (especially combined with my first point) when he gets like this, but I have to remind myself that this is what he needs. And loving him means putting his needs before my own.

3. Homecomings are wonderful, but they’re hard.

When he came back from our first deployment as a couple, I remember feeling so happy to have him home, but also out of place from not having seen him in months. I had to get used to having him around again. And he had to get used to being home again. It took some time, but it was totally worth it.

4. Communication takes discipline.

During deployments, I try to write every day just so I can have something to hold onto. It keeps our connection alive when we can’t talk on the phone or see each other in person. It gets hard when he doesn’t respond for weeks at a time, but I keep it up as best I can because I know it will benefit both of us in the long run.

5. You’ll surprise yourself with what love will allow you to handle.

I never thought I’d date someone in the military. I thought long separations were too much for me to handle. They’ve been hard for sure, but there’s so much love in my heart for my man that serves and I’m so proud when I can be his rock on a hard day. Love trumps all of these difficulties. I can’t imagine my life without him, even just missing him.