Today is a happy day. One year ago I met the love of my life, on an ice cream date. How cute, right? We’d been talking for about a week on EHarmony and it was one of the cutest dates I’ve ever been on.
We didn’t actually get together for another two months, but I count this day as a victory. You see, I’ve been waiting for the year mark for quite a while now. I’ve known I’ve loved my boyfriend since month two, when I decided to switch churches and the first person I wanted to tell was him. And ever since then my love has grown exponentially. I think I’ve been waiting for the years to catch up with my feelings.
I’ve been a hopeless romantic all of my life. If you follow this blog some, you’ll notice that so many of the books I review are in the romance category. I’m the same way with music. Except, most of the love songs out there are of the pining variety.
Today is a good day, but it’s a day that I won’t see my love.
It’s times like this that I think of songs like Run by Rex Goudie. I listened to this song so much in high school. I’d equate the sentiments to lovers in books and movies, to a future guy I wasn’t sure even existed. It’s funny now, finding all of this old music that hits very close to home during long stretches of separation.
All of those songs I lived on growing up about aching hearts and overcoming distances prepared me for this time in my life. Gave me the ability to pull strength out of the emptiness. I’m able to find the romantic in a time that’s anything but.
So today is still a good day. Even though I miss him, even though all I really want is a hug right now. Because I am fully capable of holding onto hope… and music.
I’ve had this list in my drafts since my first experience with deployment. With another one impending, I thought I’d finally publish it.
1. His job always comes first.
Changes in military scheduling will always trump prior plans. Dates tend to change often, and as an SO I just have to roll with them. I want to whine and complain so bad because even when he’s home I have to let him go so often. But I don’t because I know he’s just doing his job.
2. He comes second.
I can describe my boyfriend in one word around deployment time: tired. He works so many hours and gets little sleep so time with me ends up more than often being cuddle and fall asleep time. It’s easy to feel jilted from quality time (especially combined with my first point) when he gets like this, but I have to remind myself that this is what he needs. And loving him means putting his needs before my own.
3. Homecomings are wonderful, but they’re hard.
When he came back from our first deployment as a couple, I remember feeling so happy to have him home, but also out of place from not having seen him in months. I had to get used to having him around again. And he had to get used to being home again. It took some time, but it was totally worth it.
4. Communication takes discipline.
During deployments, I try to write every day just so I can have something to hold onto. It keeps our connection alive when we can’t talk on the phone or see each other in person. It gets hard when he doesn’t respond for weeks at a time, but I keep it up as best I can because I know it will benefit both of us in the long run.
5. You’ll surprise yourself with what love will allow you to handle.
I never thought I’d date someone in the military. I thought long separations were too much for me to handle. They’ve been hard for sure, but there’s so much love in my heart for my man that serves and I’m so proud when I can be his rock on a hard day. Love trumps all of these difficulties. I can’t imagine my life without him, even just missing him.